








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4298 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3506 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3812 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2482 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,851 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael B. Ballin | 50% | 46 |
| #2 | MohNoh | 45% | 44 |
| #3 | Full Stop. jkatsuki | 44% | 84 |
| #4 | izzy♡ | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Cleb | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Coochiemaru™ | 38% | 73 |
| #9 | Apothecarious | 38% | 55 |
| #10 | Lazermonkey | 36% | 59 |
| #11 | Toaster | 35% | 85 |
| #12 | Tempuran | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toaster | 15 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Cleb | 10 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Lazermonkey | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Full Stop. jkatsuki | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Coochiemaru™ | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamige | 339 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #2 | Apothecarious | 242 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Coochiemaru™ | 239 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cleb | 203 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | MohNoh | 174 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MohNoh | +2.65 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | Coochiemaru™ | +1.70 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | Michael B. Ballin | +1.67 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | Apothecarious | +1.53 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | milk | +0.76 | 52 | 54 |





