








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Wingman | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4388 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4907 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3779 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2121 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,281,660 of utility $279 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoxingWatermelon | 49% | 260 |
| #2 | Apothecarious | 47% | 43 |
| #3 | milk | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | Lazermonkey | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | typ1K4L | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoxingWatermelon | 49% | 260 |
| #2 | Apothecarious | 47% | 43 |
| #3 | milk | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | Lazermonkey | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | typ1K4L | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoxingWatermelon | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Lazermonkey | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | milk | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Apothecarious | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | typ1K4L | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoxingWatermelon | 228 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #2 | Apothecarious | 152 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | milk | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lazermonkey | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | typ1K4L | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apothecarious | +3.71 | 70 | 72 |
| #2 | milk | +1.23 | 49 | 47 |
| #3 | BoxingWatermelon | +0.44 | 63 | 45 |
| #4 | Lazermonkey | -0.00 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | typ1K4L | -0.92 | 71 | 66 |





