








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6375 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4000 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2662 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3323 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,580,871 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m$ | 54% | 106 |
| #2 | sn0w | 52% | 134 |
| #3 | Boofthechook | 52% | 116 |
| #4 | r$ | 50% | 78 |
| #5 | j. | 49% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boofthechook | 18 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | m$ | 16 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | r$ | 15 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | j. | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | sn0w | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j. | 627 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | Boofthechook | 433 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | m$ | 302 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | r$ | 298 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | sn0w | 276 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j. | +4.25 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | m$ | +1.06 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | Boofthechook | +0.96 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | r$ | -0.11 | 72 | 53 |
| #5 | FIFO | -0.17 | 50 | 55 |





