








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4635 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5027 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3431 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4274 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,397 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m$ | 56% | 189 |
| #2 | nug | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | r$ | 54% | 127 |
| #4 | Boofthechook | 52% | 109 |
| #5 | sn0w | 50% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | r$ | 54% | 127 |
| #4 | Boofthechook | 52% | 109 |
| #5 | sn0w | 50% | 154 |
| #6 | FIFO | 49% | 135 |
| #7 | R0cco | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r$ | 30 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | m$ | 26 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Boofthechook | 19 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | FIFO | 17 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | sn0w | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m$ | 530 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | FIFO | 491 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | r$ | 472 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Boofthechook | 386 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | sn0w | 301 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j. | +3.52 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | nug | +1.24 | 88 | 44 |
| #3 | Boofthechook | +1.20 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | m$ | +0.74 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | r$ | -0.42 | 72 | 53 |





