








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1878 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2238 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1640 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $596,983 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bajrak oobamaj | 75% | 28 |
| #2 | r$ | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | j. | 56% | 189 |
| #4 | FIFO | 54% | 106 |
| #5 | Boofthechook | 53% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | r$ | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | j. | 56% | 189 |
| #4 | FIFO | 54% | 106 |
| #5 | Boofthechook | 53% | 75 |
| #6 | sn0w | 50% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r$ | 25 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | FIFO | 18 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Boofthechook | 16 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | j. | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | sn0w | 6 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j. | 786 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | FIFO | 368 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | r$ | 290 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Boofthechook | 275 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | sn0w | 192 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bajrak oobamaj | +5.94 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | j. | +3.90 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Boofthechook | +0.91 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | m$ | +0.90 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | r$ | -0.48 | 69 | 54 |





