








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1466 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1322 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1132 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1569 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,912 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bajrak oobamaj | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | m$ | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | j. | 54% | 127 |
| #4 | FIFO | 50% | 78 |
| #5 | sn0w | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | m$ | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | j. | 54% | 127 |
| #4 | FIFO | 50% | 78 |
| #5 | sn0w | 49% | 83 |
| #6 | Boofthechook | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j. | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | FIFO | 11 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | m$ | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Boofthechook | 10 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | sn0w | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j. | 486 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | FIFO | 253 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | m$ | 203 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Boofthechook | 160 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | sn0w | 149 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bajrak oobamaj | +7.69 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | j. | +4.22 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Boofthechook | +1.47 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | m$ | +1.04 | 70 | 55 |
| #5 | r$ | -0.05 | 74 | 55 |





