








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1993 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2427 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1369 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1678 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,205,897 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Choir ツ | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | K!A§ Da Llama | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | neur0 | 71% | 24 |
| #4 | D1RE | 70% | 20 |
| #5 | Cursed | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Griffin0g v.2 | 59% | 34 |
| #7 | Soma | 52% | 46 |
| #8 | Ceai | 48% | 54 |
| #9 | ROWDY.CS | 46% | 28 |
| #10 | OppA | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceai | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | OppA | 5 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Cursed | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | Soma | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Griffin0g v.2 | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceai | 183 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Griffin0g v.2 | 111 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Choir ツ | 109 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | D1RE | 101 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | K!A§ Da Llama | 62 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K!A§ Da Llama | +2.83 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | Choir ツ | +1.79 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | D1RE | +1.56 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | neur0 | +1.56 | 73 | 38 |
| #5 | DonkeyDork | +1.47 | 75 | 59 |





