








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 83 | 4% |
| Smokes | 631 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 989 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 483 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,792 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HolyGuardianAngel | 52% | 44 |
| #2 | Wokiie | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | Dam | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | thessin | 42% | 60 |
| #5 | The-Ronnibajer | 41% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HolyGuardianAngel | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | The-Ronnibajer | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Wokiie | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Dam | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Lo2_leif | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The-Ronnibajer | 200 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | HolyGuardianAngel | 154 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Dam | 59 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wokiie | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lo2_leif | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HolyGuardianAngel | +0.79 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | The-Ronnibajer | +0.63 | 57 | 72 |
| #3 | wylffi | -0.29 | 57 | 40 |
| #4 | Lo2_leif | -0.42 | 32 | 71 |
| #5 | Wokiie | -0.64 | 52 | 41 |





