








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2042 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2680 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2065 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2108 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,948 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HolyGuardianAngel | 48% | 81 |
| #2 | Dam | 48% | 52 |
| #3 | Wokiie | 47% | 72 |
| #4 | thessin | 45% | 76 |
| #5 | The-Ronnibajer | 39% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The-Ronnibajer | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | HolyGuardianAngel | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Wokiie | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Dam | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | wylffi | 3 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HolyGuardianAngel | 245 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | The-Ronnibajer | 176 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Dam | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wokiie | 62 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | thessin | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |





