








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1406 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1886 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2514 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1721 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $808,625 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RodeoRonni | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Lo2_leif | 48% | 52 |
| #3 | wylffi | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | thessin | 46% | 81 |
| #5 | HolyGuardianAngel | 43% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HolyGuardianAngel | 327 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | The-Ronnibajer | 233 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Wokiie | 123 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lo2_leif | 104 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | RodeoRonni | 63 | 0.12 | 2 min |





