








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Renown | 13 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 2,319 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3279 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4169 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3442 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4367 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,439 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seppo | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | b0nes | 66% | 41 |
| #3 | teukhaa | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | ronny | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | xeli | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ronny | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | xeli | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | UMBREON | 48% | 114 |
| #7 | JAAKOPP | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | Naksu | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UMBREON | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | seppo | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Naksu | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | teukhaa | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | b0nes | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naksu | 147 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | JAAKOPP | 127 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | UMBREON | 124 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | ronny | 107 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | b0nes | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ronny | +1.89 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | Zervy | +1.55 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | xeli | +1.21 | 88 | 61 |
| #4 | seppo | +0.41 | 87 | 43 |
| #5 | Naksu | -0.02 | 69 | 70 |





