








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 354 matches | ||
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7040 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7356 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5821 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7109 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,460 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1912 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MC Nugget | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Epppz | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | aso | 64% | 78 |
| #4 | aksuq | 62% | 66 |
| #5 | Repalena | 61% | 84 |





