








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 704 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Renown | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4190 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6196 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6542 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6672 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,687,723 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dankes | 61% | 56 |
| #2 | kani | 58% | 73 |
| #3 | Caampee | 57% | 77 |
| #4 | rlyon | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | Zervy | 48% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | rlyon | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | Zervy | 48% | 114 |
| #6 | //Carlotta// | 46% | 90 |
| #7 | Atschuhar | 44% | 80 |
| #8 | zai | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caampee | 24 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | Atschuhar | 12 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | rlyon | 12 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | //Carlotta// | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | kani | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kani | 369 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | dankes | 241 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | //Carlotta// | 189 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Caampee | 186 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Zervy | 130 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rlyon | +2.21 | 85 | 43 |
| #2 | kani | +2.16 | 90 | 69 |
| #3 | Zervy | +1.76 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | UMBREON | +0.68 | 84 | 50 |
| #5 | dankes | +0.20 | 82 | 59 |





