








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 838 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1817 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1499 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1262 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,506 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zervy | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | b0nes | 65% | 51 |
| #3 | vomit | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | Joonas | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | anskuli | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joonas | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Herrarar | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | vomit | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | b0nes | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Tobbe | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vomit | 173 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | b0nes | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Masa | 91 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Joonas | 55 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Herrarar | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |





