








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1621 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1432 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2526 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2369 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,672 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fhqwhgads | 60% | 83 |
| #2 | Nominoa | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | SpookZ | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | nameC | 54% | 87 |
| #5 | nbody | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Fuzzy Dunlop | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | scav | 50% | 66 |
| #10 | Stiginho | 46% | 28 |
| #11 | Alex | 44% | 116 |
| #12 | nav | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GomerPyle | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Alex | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | nameC | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | fhqwhgads | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | scav | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 724 | 0.29 | 22 min |
| #2 | SpookZ | 183 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | GomerPyle | 180 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | scav | 142 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | nameC | 133 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nominoa | +4.92 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | Fuzzy Dunlop | +3.89 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | fhqwhgads | +2.29 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | scav | +1.71 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | Alex | +1.43 | 48 | 71 |





