








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1302 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1717 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1923 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1588 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,830 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nominoa | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | HIERΩ | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | nameC | 60% | 94 |
| #4 | SpookZ | 56% | 80 |
| #5 | GomerPyle | 52% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mowatt | 50% | 66 |
| #9 | Alex | 50% | 94 |
| #10 | Armcollector | 48% | 138 |
| #11 | nbody | 45% | 33 |
| #12 | nav | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | GomerPyle | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | nameC | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Armcollector | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | SpookZ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 529 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #2 | SpookZ | 312 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | nameC | 158 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Armcollector | 137 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | GomerPyle | 130 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nominoa | +4.46 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | Fuzzy Dunlop | +3.46 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | nameC | +1.82 | 59 | 67 |
| #4 | fhqwhgads | +1.15 | 61 | 66 |
| #5 | Alex | +1.07 | 45 | 70 |





