








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1822 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8709 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6929 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4847 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3380 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,278,118 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 614 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzzy Dunlop | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Nominoa | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | SpookZ | 57% | 84 |
| #4 | scav | 50% | 94 |
| #5 | Armcollector | 49% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Væringen | 41% | 29 |
| #14 | ChrisAren | 38% | 29 |
| #15 | WestTown | 38% | 32 |
| #16 | nav | 36% | 50 |
| #17 | nav2.0 | 34% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GomerPyle | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Armcollector | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | nav2.0 | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | mowatt | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | nbody | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpookZ | 305 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | nameC | 276 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | GomerPyle | 268 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | nav2.0 | 251 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | mowatt | 203 | 0.08 | 5 min |





