








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7182 | 44% |
| Smokes | 4006 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2037 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3227 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,372,382 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tej | 67% | 70 |
| #2 | Fflew | 66% | 191 |
| #3 | flux | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | Aloof | 63% | 38 |
| #5 | The Constipated | 61% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tig3R | 57% | 28 |
| #8 | Adept | 56% | 183 |
| #9 | RHY | 56% | 68 |
| #10 | Pat | 55% | 148 |
| #11 | GX | 55% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fflew | 38 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Pat | 16 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Vantage | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | tej | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Adept | 9 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fflew | 1052 | 0.28 | 27 min |
| #2 | Adept | 855 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #3 | Pat | 635 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #4 | Vantage | 595 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #5 | The Constipated | 217 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fflew | +3.16 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | tej | +2.63 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | RHY | +1.62 | 84 | 44 |
| #4 | Tig3R | +1.60 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | Aloof | +1.00 | 83 | 60 |





