








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6172 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2908 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 8262 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 7275 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,718,078 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiwi | 89% | 62 |
| #2 | flux | 82% | 151 |
| #3 | Pat | 73% | 378 |
| #4 | Vantage | 73% | 273 |
| #5 | OrnateRope | 72% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | MOOSELFLiES | 69% | 91 |
| #12 | joo | 67% | 70 |
| #13 | GX | 65% | 49 |
| #14 | Nick | 61% | 69 |
| #15 | CRADDOCK | 58% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pat | 54 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Fflew | 50 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | The Constipated | 24 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Vantage | 19 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | RHY | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pat | 1437 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #2 | Fflew | 1331 | 0.23 | 34 min |
| #3 | Vantage | 935 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #4 | The Constipated | 689 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #5 | Adept | 660 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tej | +3.32 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | OrnateRope | +2.93 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | Kiwi | +2.49 | 98 | 62 |
| #4 | Aloof | +2.46 | 82 | 55 |
| #5 | Fflew | +2.16 | 86 | 66 |





