








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15099 | 29% |
| Smokes | 12954 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11129 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 13005 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,056,529 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flux | 74% | 105 |
| #2 | tej | 71% | 174 |
| #3 | Fflew | 65% | 334 |
| #4 | Tag McGee | 64% | 76 |
| #5 | FugTheMug | 64% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fflew | 51 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Pat | 36 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Vantage | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | tej | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | joo | 10 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fflew | 1613 | 0.24 | 40 min |
| #2 | Pat | 1472 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #3 | joo | 955 | 0.26 | 24 min |
| #4 | Vantage | 842 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #5 | tej | 398 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tag McGee | +3.73 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | tej | +3.21 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Aloof | +2.58 | 88 | 66 |
| #4 | Fflew | +2.50 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | BallerBjorn | +2.42 | 75 | 55 |





