








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 674 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10860 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,001 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11333 | 31% |
| Smokes | 11029 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6361 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7278 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,013,600 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flux | 82% | 159 |
| #2 | Kiwi | 81% | 67 |
| #3 | joy simp | 77% | 78 |
| #4 | tej | 73% | 378 |
| #5 | GX | 71% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | RHY | 63% | 173 |
| #11 | Adept | 63% | 365 |
| #12 | Nick | 60% | 105 |
| #13 | Aloof | 57% | 58 |
| #14 | joo | 55% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fflew | 81 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | tej | 53 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Vantage | 26 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | The Constipated | 26 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Adept | 15 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fflew | 2034 | 0.25 | 52 min |
| #2 | Adept | 1563 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #3 | Vantage | 1145 | 0.18 | 33 min |
| #4 | tej | 844 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #5 | The Constipated | 725 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joy simp | +3.36 | 94 | 63 |
| #2 | tej | +3.02 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Kiwi | +2.36 | 97 | 61 |
| #4 | RHY | +2.24 | 84 | 40 |
| #5 | Fflew | +2.08 | 85 | 68 |





