








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1378 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1691 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2246 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2108 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,257,703 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAYCAHILL | 49% | 228 |
| #2 | marktehspark96 | 47% | 64 |
| #3 | james patrick | 45% | 259 |
| #4 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 43% | 218 |
| #5 | Jim Darkmagic | 43% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | marktehspark96 | 47% | 64 |
| #3 | james patrick | 45% | 259 |
| #4 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 43% | 218 |
| #5 | Jim Darkmagic | 43% | 232 |
| #6 | F0rristal. | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | james patrick | 30 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | JAYCAHILL | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Jim Darkmagic | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | F0rristal. | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim Darkmagic | 438 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | james patrick | 341 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 309 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | JAYCAHILL | 225 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | marktehspark96 | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinner | +0.49 | 68 | 44 |
| #2 | JAYCAHILL | +0.27 | 54 | 62 |
| #3 | james patrick | -0.31 | 66 | 48 |
| #4 | Jim Darkmagic | -0.67 | 44 | 42 |
| #5 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | -0.77 | 51 | 57 |





