








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1787 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2137 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2185 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1682 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,822,517 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marktehspark96 | 49% | 71 |
| #2 | JAYCAHILL | 48% | 299 |
| #3 | Pinner | 45% | 259 |
| #4 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 44% | 215 |
| #5 | Jim Darkmagic | 44% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | JAYCAHILL | 48% | 299 |
| #3 | Pinner | 45% | 259 |
| #4 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 44% | 215 |
| #5 | Jim Darkmagic | 44% | 260 |
| #6 | F0rristal. | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinner | 23 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | JAYCAHILL | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | F0rristal. | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Jim Darkmagic | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim Darkmagic | 543 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 373 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | JAYCAHILL | 285 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pinner | 124 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | marktehspark96 | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinner | +0.51 | 68 | 45 |
| #2 | JAYCAHILL | +0.05 | 50 | 62 |
| #3 | james patrick | +0.05 | 67 | 47 |
| #4 | Jim Darkmagic | -0.45 | 48 | 42 |
| #5 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | -0.67 | 50 | 58 |





