








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Wingman | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2209 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2582 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1851 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,268,296 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 574 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAYCAHILL | 49% | 200 |
| #2 | F0rristal. | 46% | 93 |
| #3 | james patrick | 44% | 215 |
| #4 | marktehspark96 | 44% | 48 |
| #5 | Pinner | 43% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | james patrick | 44% | 215 |
| #4 | marktehspark96 | 44% | 48 |
| #5 | Pinner | 43% | 218 |
| #6 | Jim Darkmagic | 43% | 188 |
| #7 | Conor :3 | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | james patrick | 25 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Pinner | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | F0rristal. | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | JAYCAHILL | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Jim Darkmagic | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim Darkmagic | 361 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | james patrick | 281 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | JAYCAHILL | 205 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pinner | 109 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | marktehspark96 | 56 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAYCAHILL | +0.54 | 51 | 60 |
| #2 | Pinner | +0.42 | 69 | 44 |
| #3 | james patrick | +0.16 | 67 | 44 |
| #4 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | -0.28 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | Jim Darkmagic | -0.72 | 46 | 40 |





