








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1663 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3240 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1825 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2307 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,767 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAYCAHILL | 46% | 247 |
| #2 | marktehspark96 | 45% | 75 |
| #3 | james patrick | 44% | 260 |
| #4 | F0rristal. | 43% | 67 |
| #5 | Pinner | 43% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | james patrick | 44% | 260 |
| #4 | F0rristal. | 43% | 67 |
| #5 | Pinner | 43% | 232 |
| #6 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 43% | 188 |
| #7 | Conor :3 | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | james patrick | 20 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Pinner | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | JAYCAHILL | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | F0rristal. | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | james patrick | 343 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 305 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | JAYCAHILL | 242 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Pinner | 107 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | marktehspark96 | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinner | +0.72 | 70 | 48 |
| #2 | JAYCAHILL | +0.23 | 51 | 63 |
| #3 | james patrick | -0.38 | 66 | 50 |
| #4 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | -0.45 | 49 | 60 |
| #5 | Jim Darkmagic | -0.48 | 47 | 42 |





