








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 261 | 13% |
| Smokes | 600 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 364 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 755 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,283 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 46% | 93 |
| #2 | Jim Darkmagic | 43% | 67 |
| #3 | james patrick | 40% | 70 |
| #4 | JAYCAHILL | 36% | 66 |
| #5 | Pinner | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 46% | 93 |
| #2 | Jim Darkmagic | 43% | 67 |
| #3 | james patrick | 40% | 70 |
| #4 | JAYCAHILL | 36% | 66 |
| #5 | Pinner | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | james patrick | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Jim Darkmagic | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | JAYCAHILL | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Pinner | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | 128 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jim Darkmagic | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | james patrick | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | JAYCAHILL | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pinner | 29 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||GH|| Gynocomestia | +1.43 | 53 | 59 |
| #2 | james patrick | +1.02 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | Jim Darkmagic | +0.25 | 52 | 45 |
| #4 | JAYCAHILL | -0.34 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | Pinner | -0.40 | 70 | 55 |





