








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 889 | 38% |
| Smokes | 381 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 777 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 290 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,120 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebab | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | RedSheep | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | -9,53 leetify | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Kanaaaa | 56% | 59 |
| #5 | FrenchDoomer | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Limo | 30 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Kanaaaa | 10 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Kebab | 10 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | xxxx | 5 | 0.0175 |
| #5 | RedSheep | 4 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Limo | 196 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kebab | 79 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | FrenchDoomer | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | RedSheep | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | -9,53 leetify | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |





