








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2358 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3852 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3148 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2441 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,163,306 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1581 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draugr | 51% | 203 |
| #2 | rico | 48% | 173 |
| #3 | THE SUN | 48% | 269 |
| #4 | if you yell ill come. | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | tek | 41% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draugr | 51% | 203 |
| #2 | rico | 48% | 173 |
| #3 | THE SUN | 48% | 269 |
| #4 | if you yell ill come. | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | tek | 41% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | 59 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | rico | 23 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | if you yell ill come. | 15 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | Draugr | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | THE SUN | 9 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | 756 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | THE SUN | 513 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | rico | 345 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | if you yell ill come. | 332 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | Draugr | 75 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | +2.31 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | if you yell ill come. | +2.15 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | AustiniTheWeeni | +1.16 | 54 | 42 |
| #4 | rico | -0.09 | 52 | 50 |
| #5 | Draugr | -3.31 | 21 | 28 |





