








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1570 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1010 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 976 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1144 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,025,010 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE SUN | 52% | 62 |
| #2 | AustiniTheWeeni | 48% | 173 |
| #3 | Draugr | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | tek | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | if you yell ill come. | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE SUN | 52% | 62 |
| #2 | AustiniTheWeeni | 48% | 173 |
| #3 | Draugr | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | tek | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | if you yell ill come. | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | 24 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | AustiniTheWeeni | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | if you yell ill come. | 7 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | Draugr | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | THE SUN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | 296 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | if you yell ill come. | 128 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | THE SUN | 121 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | AustiniTheWeeni | 120 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Draugr | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | +0.85 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | if you yell ill come. | +0.46 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | AustiniTheWeeni | +0.23 | 56 | 41 |
| #4 | rico | +0.09 | 52 | 51 |
| #5 | THE SUN | -3.40 | 33 | 34 |





