








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3121 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2413 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1177 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3338 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,182,148 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rico | 52% | 62 |
| #2 | Draugr | 51% | 254 |
| #3 | AustiniTheWeeni | 48% | 269 |
| #4 | tek | 41% | 86 |
| #5 | if you yell ill come. | 34% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rico | 52% | 62 |
| #2 | Draugr | 51% | 254 |
| #3 | AustiniTheWeeni | 48% | 269 |
| #4 | tek | 41% | 86 |
| #5 | if you yell ill come. | 34% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | 36 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | AustiniTheWeeni | 35 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | if you yell ill come. | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | rico | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Draugr | 6 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | 379 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | if you yell ill come. | 318 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | AustiniTheWeeni | 217 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | rico | 133 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Draugr | 132 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | +3.58 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | if you yell ill come. | +2.48 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | AustiniTheWeeni | +2.21 | 52 | 43 |
| #4 | rico | +1.26 | 51 | 52 |
| #5 | Draugr | -1.52 | 20 | 32 |





