








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 990 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 742 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




147 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16512 | 44% |
| Smokes | 5528 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 9359 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6399 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,458,183 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pissboy, M.D. | 49% | 77 |
| #2 | Lupin | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | rico | 44% | 61 |
| #4 | THE SUN | 41% | 86 |
| #5 | AustiniTheWeeni | 41% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pissboy, M.D. | 49% | 77 |
| #2 | Lupin | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | rico | 44% | 61 |
| #4 | THE SUN | 41% | 86 |
| #5 | AustiniTheWeeni | 41% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AustiniTheWeeni | 26 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Pissboy, M.D. | 22 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | rico | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Lupin | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | THE SUN | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AustiniTheWeeni | 122 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #2 | THE SUN | 106 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | rico | 101 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pissboy, M.D. | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lupin | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tek | +0.78 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | Pissboy, M.D. | -0.61 | 63 | 31 |
| #3 | rico | -1.01 | 48 | 48 |
| #4 | AustiniTheWeeni | -1.13 | 58 | 40 |
| #5 | Lupin | -2.20 | 29 | 47 |





