








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1102 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1327 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1048 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,816 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bloke | 56% | 68 |
| #4 | EKE- | 55% | 66 |
| #5 | *krokodiili* | 53% | 118 |
| #6 | www.Ry$$ä.fi | 53% | 15 |
| #7 | Bjot | 52% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *krokodiili* | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | EKE- | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Bjot | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | jaetkae | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | www.Ry$$ä.fi | 3 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjot | 591 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | jaetkae | 500 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #3 | *krokodiili* | 113 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | bloke | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | EKE- | 97 | 0.07 | 3 min |





