








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 684 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1813 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1437 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2644 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2493 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,689,916 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jefub | 66% | 47 |
| #2 | allu | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | EKE- | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Bjot | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | jaetkae | 52% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | EKE- | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Bjot | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | jaetkae | 52% | 215 |
| #6 | *krokodiili* | 49% | 68 |
| #7 | Linigha mcguiccha | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaetkae | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | *krokodiili* | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | allu | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | jefub | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Linigha mcguiccha | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaetkae | 1124 | 0.26 | 33 min |
| #2 | jefub | 290 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #3 | Bjot | 258 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | allu | 127 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Linigha mcguiccha | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jefub | +4.29 | 72 | 92 |
| #2 | jaetkae | +1.40 | 65 | 87 |
| #3 | allu | +0.95 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Bjot | -0.58 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | bloke | -0.95 | 62 | 51 |





