








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3005 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2026 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2091 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 791 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,555 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaetkae | 55% | 102 |
| #2 | bloke | 53% | 58 |
| #3 | EKE- | 52% | 103 |
| #4 | allu | 52% | 116 |
| #5 | krumf | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | allu | 52% | 116 |
| #5 | krumf | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | www.Ry$$ä.fi | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | *krokodiili* | 49% | 148 |
| #8 | Linigha mcguiccha | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EKE- | 15 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | *krokodiili* | 14 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | allu | 14 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | jaetkae | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | www.Ry$$ä.fi | 3 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaetkae | 637 | 0.30 | 19 min |
| #2 | allu | 250 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | *krokodiili* | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | EKE- | 164 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | krumf | 98 | 0.39 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krumf | +3.31 | 80 | 90 |
| #2 | jaetkae | +1.75 | 66 | 88 |
| #3 | allu | +1.71 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | Bjot | +0.17 | 75 | 67 |
| #5 | bloke | -1.38 | 59 | 49 |





