








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1009 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




191 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10446 | 25% |
| Smokes | 11337 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 14346 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 6477 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,798,711 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feeling cute, might delete later | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | fortnite | 52% | 175 |
| #3 | sin | 52% | 405 |
| #4 | icedancer | 51% | 65 |
| #5 | your wifes boyfriend | 50% | 419 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john chinaman | 85 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | your wifes boyfriend | 77 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | mando | 55 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | fortnite | 55 | 0.0148 |
| #5 | sin | 48 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john chinaman | 1146 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #2 | sin | 897 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | your wifes boyfriend | 767 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #4 | eug | 646 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #5 | Wholesomebanks | 607 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | your wifes boyfriend | +1.78 | 57 | 43 |
| #2 | zoowee | +1.08 | 46 | 37 |
| #3 | feeling cute, might delete later | +0.80 | 47 | 43 |
| #4 | fortnite | +0.59 | 39 | 38 |
| #5 | mando | +0.57 | 48 | 37 |





