








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1249 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1569 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1669 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1725 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,631 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fortnite | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | Wholesomebanks | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | sin | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | dr. respect | 49% | 177 |
| #5 | john chinaman | 47% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | eug | 46% | 26 |
| #7 | your wifes boyfriend | 46% | 113 |
| #8 | gian | 43% | 23 |
| #9 | Wildum | 40% | 20 |
| #10 | mando | 38% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr. respect | 29 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | john chinaman | 27 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | your wifes boyfriend | 21 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | fortnite | 15 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | Wholesomebanks | 11 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr. respect | 482 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | john chinaman | 242 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | your wifes boyfriend | 210 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | eug | 138 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wholesomebanks | 132 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | your wifes boyfriend | +1.31 | 52 | 46 |
| #2 | zoowee | +0.83 | 45 | 39 |
| #3 | fortnite | +0.59 | 42 | 44 |
| #4 | Wildum | +0.53 | 59 | 72 |
| #5 | mando | +0.20 | 50 | 37 |





