








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 88 | 47% |
| Smokes | 38 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 10 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 52 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $60,147 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i am kai | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | JG | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | woody | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | Mystic_Karma | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | DrippieWhit | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mystic_Karma | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | DrippieWhit | 51% | 49 |
| #6 | christian | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | METRO | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | gr4y | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrippieWhit | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | christian | 5 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | woody | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Mystic_Karma | 2 | 0.0149 |
| #5 | i am kai | 1 | 0.0175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woody | 106 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | christian | 93 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | DrippieWhit | 91 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | gr4y | 28 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | METRO | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woody | +6.42 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | DrippieWhit | +4.96 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | i am kai | +4.62 | 57 | 34 |
| #4 | Mystic_Karma | +4.18 | 87 | 54 |
| #5 | christian | +3.48 | 82 | 57 |





