








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 860 | 26% |
| Smokes | 943 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 611 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 911 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,547 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRB | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | -JSM_ | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | neqze | 58% | 53 |
| #4 | Cooking Swag | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | datsleoH | 56% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | sphexxy | 54% | 13 |
| #8 | Fyre | 53% | 45 |
| #9 | 🆃🅷🅴 🅺🅸🅽🅶 BOB3000 | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Mayhem | 31% | 16 |
| #11 | b1 | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | datsleoH | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Warlix | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Fyre | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Mayhem | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Cooking Swag | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlix | 535 | 0.35 | 18 min |
| #2 | datsleoH | 143 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | neqze | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fyre | 72 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cooking Swag | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | datsleoH | +1.81 | 57 | 66 |
| #2 | Warlix | +1.08 | 89 | 87 |
| #3 | BRB | +1.04 | 90 | 57 |
| #4 | Cooking Swag | +0.70 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | Fyre | +0.48 | 74 | 54 |





