








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2237 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3274 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2259 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3076 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,538 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 710 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neqze | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | datsleoH | 60% | 58 |
| #3 | -JSM_ | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | BRB | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | Snute | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✇ N O B A ✇ | 51% | 47 |
| #7 | Abyss | 51% | 187 |
| #8 | Warlix | 49% | 49 |
| #9 | Cooking Swag | 48% | 21 |
| #10 | Octopus | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abyss | 27 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | ✇ N O B A ✇ | 25 | 0.0262 |
| #3 | Octopus | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | datsleoH | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Snute | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlix | 389 | 0.37 | 12 min |
| #2 | ✇ N O B A ✇ | 330 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #3 | Abyss | 318 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | BRB | 160 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Snute | 138 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | datsleoH | +2.07 | 55 | 68 |
| #2 | Fyre | +1.36 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | Warlix | +1.21 | 90 | 88 |
| #4 | -JSM_ | +0.95 | 76 | 53 |
| #5 | Abyss | +0.46 | 83 | 53 |





