








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 814 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1100 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 517 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,963 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neqze | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | BRB | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | 🆃🅷🅴 🅺🅸🅽🅶 BOB3000 | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | datsleoH | 58% | 62 |
| #5 | Warlix | 57% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Fyre | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | Mayhem | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | sphexxy | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | -JSM_ | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | datsleoH | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlix | 315 | 0.37 | 9 min |
| #2 | Snute | 111 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | datsleoH | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mayhem | 84 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | 🆃🅷🅴 🅺🅸🅽🅶 BOB3000 | 55 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | datsleoH | +1.61 | 53 | 71 |
| #2 | Cooking Swag | +0.95 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | Mayhem | +0.75 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Fyre | +0.41 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | Snute | -0.04 | 82 | 59 |





