








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 478 | 18% |
| Smokes | 633 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 708 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 856 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,899 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cooking Swag | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | datsleoH | 66% | 56 |
| #3 | Fyre | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | BRB | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Snute | 58% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Snute | 58% | 53 |
| #6 | Warlix | 58% | 55 |
| #7 | -JSM_ | 29% | 7 |
| #8 | Mayhem | 0% | 4 |
| #9 | b1 | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snute | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Warlix | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | datsleoH | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Fyre | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Mayhem | 2 | 0.0215 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlix | 396 | 0.35 | 13 min |
| #2 | Snute | 186 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | datsleoH | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fyre | 71 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cooking Swag | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | datsleoH | +2.32 | 58 | 69 |
| #2 | Cooking Swag | +1.88 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | Warlix | +1.75 | 90 | 86 |
| #4 | Fyre | +0.35 | 68 | 52 |
| #5 | BRB | +0.31 | 90 | 56 |





