








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 361 | 22% |
| Smokes | 392 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 395 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 513 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,787 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jello | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Sikser | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | riaN | 68% | 31 |
| #4 | kaelin | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | RealLyfeMafiaBoss | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RealLyfeMafiaBoss | 20 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | CallMeVenus | 16 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | riaN | 15 | 0.0238 |
| #4 | woNg | 9 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | kaelin | 7 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riaN | 136 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | CallMeVenus | 112 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | woNg | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | RealLyfeMafiaBoss | 75 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | kaelin | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riaN | +6.69 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | RealLyfeMafiaBoss | +3.55 | 78 | 39 |
| #3 | jello | +3.49 | 54 | 27 |
| #4 | woNg | +2.65 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | kaelin | +1.08 | 72 | 44 |





