








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 23% |
| Smokes | 755 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1386 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1601 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,996 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jello | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Frost_276 | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | riaN | 58% | 138 |
| #4 | woNg | 55% | 191 |
| #5 | kaelin | 53% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riaN | 65 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | CallMeVenus | 53 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | woNg | 26 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | kaelin | 25 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Frost_276 | 12 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riaN | 611 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | CallMeVenus | 468 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | woNg | 340 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | kaelin | 219 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | ElviNas | 188 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riaN | +5.16 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | RealLyfeMafiaBoss | +2.57 | 76 | 40 |
| #3 | woNg | +2.11 | 77 | 52 |
| #4 | jello | +0.10 | 55 | 34 |
| #5 | kaelin | -0.03 | 75 | 49 |





