








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2313 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3559 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2547 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2357 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,236 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N A U T I C A L | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | Morgan | 62% | 79 |
| #3 | STEVE ROGERS | 59% | 95 |
| #4 | 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | SuKBhai | 54% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STEVE ROGERS | 18 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | SPIDER | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | SuKBhai | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | ✮彡[ꜱᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀ] | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 | 4 | 0.0085 |





