








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7386 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6392 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3676 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4205 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,509,336 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 364 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiser | 72% | 32 |
| #2 | 🕷Spidy0071🕷 ︻气デ一 | 71% | 66 |
| #3 | N A U T I C A L | 67% | 57 |
| #4 | SPIDER | 58% | 254 |
| #5 | STEVE ROGERS | 57% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STEVE ROGERS | 30 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Morgan | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Vampy!! #The_Dead | 14 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | SPIDER | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 | 9 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morgan | 1516 | 0.26 | 37 min |
| #2 | SPIDER | 934 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #3 | STEVE ROGERS | 586 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | 🕷Spidy0071🕷 ︻气デ一 | 208 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vampy!! #The_Dead | 173 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ -Reznov"- | +4.24 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | SPIDER | +2.94 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | Morgan | +1.83 | 51 | 68 |
| #4 | 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 | +1.05 | 72 | 42 |
| #5 | SuKBhai | +0.93 | 71 | 63 |





