








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10412 | 38% |
| Smokes | 7099 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4048 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5977 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,476 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiser | 69% | 51 |
| #2 | 🕷Spidy0071🕷 ︻气デ一 | 65% | 74 |
| #3 | N A U T I C A L | 64% | 73 |
| #4 | ONENESS | 62% | 53 |
| #5 | 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 | 62% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Levi | 61% | 36 |
| #8 | SPIDER | 61% | 213 |
| #9 | STEVE ROGERS | 60% | 209 |
| #10 | UZUMAKI | 60% | 67 |
| #11 | SuKBhai | 57% | 294 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuKBhai | 30 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | STEVE ROGERS | 25 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | SPIDER | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Vampy!! #The_Dead | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 | 9 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuKBhai | 1043 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #2 | SPIDER | 840 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #3 | STEVE ROGERS | 558 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | ONENESS | 368 | 0.36 | 10 min |
| #5 | UZUMAKI | 339 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPIDER | +3.37 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | Morgan | +2.50 | 55 | 69 |
| #3 | 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 | +1.74 | 75 | 42 |
| #4 | Kaiser | +1.49 | 47 | 37 |
| #5 | ONENESS | +1.46 | 71 | 70 |





