








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6641 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5350 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4878 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4209 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $764,171 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | yerba make | 50% | 125 |
| #8 | Sponsorimatias | 48% | 185 |
| #9 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 48% | 223 |
| #10 | Mäkisen Sirkka | 46% | 26 |
| #11 | Pete | 46% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppeliib | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Sponsorimatias | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Jonesii | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | neitsyt jartsa | 7 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppeliib | 2017 | 0.44 | 50 min |
| #2 | neitsyt jartsa | 596 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 541 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | yerba make | 287 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jonesii | 268 | 0.07 | 6 min |





