








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1227 | 30% |
| Smokes | 692 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1109 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1080 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,843 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | darky | 64% | 113 |
| #2 | Halter | 64% | 85 |
| #3 | aryan | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | itsjustblue | 60% | 87 |
| #5 | sparkle | 60% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halter | 41 | 0.0255 |
| #2 | sparkle | 18 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | darky | 16 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | itsjustblue | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | aryan | 8 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itsjustblue | 538 | 0.32 | 13 min |
| #2 | Halter | 310 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | sparkle | 266 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | darky | 232 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | aryan | 93 | 0.17 | 2 min |





