








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2025 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2048 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1489 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1387 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,783 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skuuge | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Kowalski | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | Culf | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Boeing 767-200 | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | Static | 54% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | NemoTheFishy05 | 53% | 15 |
| #8 | JannickUdenC | 52% | 31 |
| #9 | Don Juan Deag | 51% | 53 |
| #10 | Hot Neighborhood Femboy | 49% | 43 |
| #11 | Xsampel | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don Juan Deag | 12 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Boeing 767-200 | 11 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | Static | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Kowalski | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | JannickUdenC | 7 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static | 271 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Don Juan Deag | 171 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 135 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | skuuge | 67 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xsampel | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | +4.40 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | Static | +4.37 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | JannickUdenC | +2.47 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Ezekiah | +1.61 | 63 | 52 |
| #5 | Don Juan Deag | +0.33 | 29 | 61 |





