








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 766 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 392 | 21% |
| Smokes | 569 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 395 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 476 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,273 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnufli | 72% | 43 |
| #2 | Bocchi the Glock | 68% | 44 |
| #3 | Yuki | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Kufuru | 65% | 63 |
| #5 | Vyn | 63% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kufuru | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Dr. James Wilson | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Schnufli | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Vyn | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Bocchi the Glock | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kufuru | 242 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Dr. James Wilson | 230 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vyn | 144 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bocchi the Glock | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Schnufli | 26 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ypph | +7.47 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Dr. Eric Foreman | +3.86 | 46 | 42 |
| #3 | Vyn | +2.93 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | Yuki | +0.90 | 39 | 47 |
| #5 | Dr. James Wilson | +0.32 | 36 | 55 |





